Distance: 115 miles
Climbing: 3360 feet
Temperature: 101 F
Average Speed: 14.8 mph
Do you believe that average? I was disgusted so I'm taking over the blog tonight. He says he just wanted to do a recovery ride because he felt shitty after yesterday and has a lot of climbing around Flagstaff tomorrow. He does look a lot more chipper, but I still think he's full of crap.
I've been doing my best to get that boy through, but he won't appreciate it. Do you know what he did to me? For the first time in my life, I've got duct tape stuck to me. Duct tape! It's just embarrassing. He shattered one bottle cage, and his second is about to fall apart, so he's got it taped on there. Not only does he buy me shitty bling, but then he slaps some tape over it, right in front of all the other girls. He treats me like a lot lizard just because I've got a few miles on me. No way he would be doing that if I was some pretty little Cervelo or Pinarello. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about here. He says he'll replace those cages at the bike shop in Flagstaff, and you better believe I want the full carbon treatment. Can I get a "hell yeah"?
He says he really appreciates all your comments. He finds them really motivating. I don't know why you bother, to tell you the truth. And why are you getting all the gratitude? I'm the one that's gotta smell his stinky ass crossing the desert all day.
And another thing, he promised video yesterday. Well, he's disappointing us there, too. It turns out the batteries died. He's replaced them now and promises sparkling footage of some hair-raising descents tomorrow, but we'll see.
I have to sign off before I put myself in a state.
Good night.
Sexybike
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i must be the only one up right now:) Loved hearing from sexybike. I feel it is a more accurate description of the journey - ha! I hope you both love flagstaff. great microbrews or so i'm told. great seeing you out in our neck of the woods - thanks for the shout out!!!
ReplyDeletetake care of you and your ass.
Crystal
This is becoming interesting
ReplyDeleteI am feeling the need to respond
Sexybike, I've carried his ass for 39 years on this lump of dirt. Now, granted, this is in a more figurative sense, but I wouldn't start complaining this early. Wait until the saddle sores start.
ReplyDeleteHal Incandenza
LOL! Field expediency, waddaya gonna do? Hang in there SexyBike, Andy's a good guy. He gave you that shiny new cassette, right? Keep spinnin'! // Jim
ReplyDeleteTo Hal:
ReplyDeleteDavid Foster Wallace is dead. Long live David Foster Wallace.